Please don't get offended

Someone comes up to you and tells you your clothes are ugly.

What do you do with that? Do you take it to heart and shy away (and maybe cry)? Do you say “look in the mirror dickface” Or do you give them a “WTF face” and just walk away? Regardless of how you react in the moment, you are most likely to think about it later on. People are entitled to their opinions, whether it be on you physical appearances, particular talent, personality, you name it. Whatever a stranger says to you, be it in person, text or social media, says a lot about who they are. Are what they saying true? Or is it an assumption they’re basing it on? Just a superficial judgement? Their opinion? Who are they to you? What importance do they have in your life? It can be super easy to simply believe what they say to be true. It can be super easy to go on a defend yourself rampage. But why? One could say is to defend their dignity. Their pride. But why take the time to defend yourself to someone that is nothing to you? Those who know you will know your truth. Those who know you will support you no matter what. I'm not saying you shouldn't defend yourself. There will be times where absolutely, you need to defend yourself. But sometimes you just have to step a-back. Sometimes we say or post things when we are mad or sad that we regret later. So focus on the truth. I remember when I was in grade 6 or 7, we went out to a skating rink for physed (do they still call it that? Gym class?) Anyway, I was skating by myself and this girl comes from behind and yanks my hat away. I tried to get it from her, but I barely knew how to skate so it was hard. I asked her to give it back and she wouldn’t. So I told the teacher on her. So of course, she had to give it back but when she did, something that my mind has decided to remember is her saying “here’s you’re damn hat, you can’t take a joke? This is why nobody likes you, you’re so ugly” and left. I remember just being there, very awkwardly. I mean part of me got hurt, naturally, but I didn’t understand where that came from. I never spoke to this girl, we’ve never played with eachother, she may have even been a year older than me. I honestly don’t remember. I just know we just went to the same school and this time we happened to go to the same event. So, I just remember thinking, why get mad at me? Cuz I told on her? I’m not in jail, no reason to get stitches. Ha! I wanted my hat back, and she wouldn’t give it to me, I was patient for a while but when I started getting cold and she wasn’t playing nice, I’m like screw this. You can deal with the teacher. But I don’t remember crying, or doubting my life as I knew it then – as I mentioned in my intro I’m an introvert, so yes, I did not have many friends. But I had a few. And they were enough for me. I never told anyone about this, I mean it’s not something one goes off to tell their friends about. I have always been one to think that people’s assumptions of me or superficial judgements of me are just that – assumptions, superficial judgements. They don’t know me. Do I believe or feed into what people think of me – obviously I’m talking about any negative things? No, not If I know it to be untrue.

Another story. When I had just started the University during my time in Peru, I remember walking with a friend, we had just registered and on our way out these 2-3 guys passed us and made jokes about the program we had enrolled in. A little bit of a back story to this, I enrolled in International Business Trade, which was under an umbrella belonging to a Finance and Economics department of the University and well the reputation of those who studied there were... of party goers, basically. It was the belief that girls who enrolled there, most if not all, were those who were looking for just that... study less, part hard scenario. So these guys were in that mindset, and said something, that I don’t remember what it was now, but I found it hilarious – so I laughed! My friend looked at me with offense and was like, uhmm they just made fun of us, that was not a laughing matter. Why are you laughing? And I’m like what? But it’s so funny! Besides, what they’re saying isn’t true, so who cares? I couldn’t stop laughing. The guys were laughing at the fact that I was laughing and I’m sure they probably thought I was some kind of ditz who didn’t understand that they were making fun of me. I mean party goers aren’t smart right? Ha! But it didn’t matter to me. My time will come to prove myself, if I had to. But I don’t owe strangers, evenmoreso those who intend to laugh and be mean to me. I do it for myself. I tell these stories because now that I’m older, going back to the first memory with the mean girl for instance, it makes me realize that my thought process was going towards the “why are you angry and being mean” instead of “I shouldn’t have told on her, she’s right”. And in regards to the dumb boys... I didn’t care that they were thinking that I was probably incredibly dumb. I actually laughed with them. Right or wrong? I don't know. We're all very different people. I’ve been brought up by a mom who’s always been very honest with me. She didn’t hide info to protect me, so to speak. She’s always told me things how they were, no filter, whatsoever. Sometimes it would hurt but she taught me to get better. Be better. Don’t cry about it. Get over it. And to Do something about it. This character building takes time of course. It can be hard. Especially now with social media. There can be so many comments where people are mean and are clearly just commenting because they like to create drama, stir the pot and sometimes I want to respond with a blast of truth but then I’m just like gaaaah it’s not worth it. They are not worth it. At the end of the day, you have to remember that other people’s opinions are just that. Opinions. We don’t have to take offense to them. To each their own. One thing though, truth hurts. Lizzo is right hehe. When you are 100% sure that someone just told you your truth... you work on it. It can be hard to take, depending on how said truth has been delivered to you, but you just gotta take it.

Can you improve? Work on it. You can't? Accept it. It will get better. And you know how?

One day. At a Time.